Pocket beers are just one of the lower key aspects of skiing. For all the people who spend near $10 for a draft at the top of the lifts there are a smaller number of hardy souls who take the route less traveled. During the few minutes of isolation on a lift the pocket beer is produced. It is consumed before unloading, sometimes shared, and the can is either stowed away or deposited discretely in a receptacle at the top. Do not be the guy who tosses an empty somewhere on the mountain.
Over Spring Break I discovered that the pocket beer is looked down upon at Beaver Creek. A fellow lift traveler looked at me as if I had told him that I was going to make America great again with my consumption of beer. Perhaps it would have been more appropriate if I had broken out a single serve can of chardonnay. Properly chilled of course. Just kidding. I would never drink chardonnay on a lift unless it was goon. It’s an Australian thing. Check it out.
Over the course of the week I thought about the nature of the pocket beer because I did not spend any time looking at the news, watching Netflix, or working. It is amazing what you think about when left with your thoughts on a sunny Colorado afternoon in the spring. Here are my conclusions:
- Pocket beers must be in cans. Like the beach, including the one at A Basin, and the pool glass should be a non-starter. Bottles can break, the tops are another item to deal with, and it is harder to conceal a bottle in a gloved hand. Oh sure, you could get by with an aluminum bottle but those are generally only purchased by people who are captive audiences at sporting events. Don’t be that guy.
- Pocket beers should be shared. If you have more than one, offer a beer to a fellow lift rider. If you only have one, offer a drink to a fellow lift rider if you know the person well. Strangers might have a fear of your distinct brand of cooties.
- Pocket beers should not be craft beers. Yes, craft beer is ascendant and craft beer is a big deal in mountain communities. However, with most high speed lifts only taking a few minutes to complete their runs there is no time to savor. Reserve the craft beer for the après pint.
- Acceptable pocket beers:
- Rainier: Where do people find this stuff? I had not seen anyone drink Rainier since a childhood trip to the Pacific Northwest with my parents in the 1980s. Sure enough it made an appearance this season on a lift at Keystone.
- Yuengling: I cannot stand this beer, but legions of East Coast ice skiers will scream if I do not include their favorite swill.
- Natural Light: The Natty is a legend among the hardy souls who ski the Midwest’s small hills. Purchased in containers with no fewer than 24 cans and usually 30 cans the Natty is the common currency of tailgates, impromptu backyard parties in your twenties, and pocket beers at Afton Alps. Yes, it is swill but when the mercury is dropping below the 0 mark you do not have time to taste.
- Coors: Not that Coors Light garbage. When you are in Colorado and producing a pocket beer it should be the Banquet Beer. The muted yellow can is iconic even if the beer inside is fairly mediocre. It’s only brewed in Golden, which is off I-70 on the way into the mountains. If you are chilling on the Peru Express lift, whip out a Banquet Beer, and enjoy your moment of perfection.
Embrace the pocket beer and the grungy soul of skiing before we are all left at mega-resorts staring at a menu of eye watering prices. The pocket beer is the resistance.
Posted in ski, Uncategorized
Tagged Australia, Banquet Beer, Beaver Creek, beer, Coors, Coors Light, goon, Keystone, Peru Express, pocket beer, Rainier, ski, skiing, Yuengling
Suffering comes in two flavors during the spring: end of season suffering for skiers and beginning of season suffering for cyclists. Unfortunately, I find myself suffering on both ends of those seasons. Damn.
Spring skiing sounds like fun, right? Warmer temperatures, laid back crowds, decent base…blah, blah, blah. For the first couple of hours everything holds true. The runs are great and the kids are happy. Sometime around noon as the sun bakes off any cloud cover you slowly descend into a slushy hell known as the last run of the day.
The crowds wake up from their jaeger bomb comas for the two runs they will do for the day before going back to an après scene focused on even more jaeger bombs, but not before completely chewing up all of the decent runs and clogging the lift lines. Seriously bro, do you even lift? Sorry, I could not help myself.
Spring skiing starts off with so much potential and ends up being a sufferfest of slogging through snow more reminiscent of mashed potatoes than anything else. At least my kids do not complain about cold fingers and toes. So I have that going for me.
Spring biking is never meant to be fun and no one is really going to try and convince you otherwise. The weather is usually leaning toward cold and wet. The wind is never blowing less than ten to fifteen miles an hour with gusts of double those numbers. And your legs are somehow not prepared for even a light day despite a winter of working out and skiing.
You spend the first few rides wiping snot every five minutes, huffing cold air like an asthmatic weed smoker, and generally struggling to push a gear that would be light in the middle of July. What the hell spring? At some point during every early spring ride you ask yourself why you do this and why aren’t you inside watching Netflix?
Why? Because we are masochists who need to suffer in order to feel alive. None of this activity is necessary to our living yet it is essential to our happiness. We are smug in looking across the bar at a fellow skier with sun burnt cheeks and a wiped out thousand yard stare at the end of a long day plowing through snow cone conditions. We are a member of that tribe. We wave stealthily to the other hardy cyclists out in these early days of spring knowing that their lungs are struggling to suck down air just like us. We are bonded in our suffering.
It is easy to go out when the skies are clear, the temps are in the teens, and there is an inch of fresh snow on the front side of the mountain. It is easy to get in the saddle when the sun is out, the wind is mild, and your neighbors are out mowing their lawns. What defines us as members of a different tribe is when we commit to the suffering willingly.
Posted in Mobility, Uncategorized
Tagged bike, exercise, exertion, jaeger bombs, pain, seasons, ski, spring, suffer, winter
Apparently I am a difficult person to buy gifts for owing to my general lack of things that I “need” and a vehement insistence that people do not need to buy me things to celebrate milestones like birthdays. In the absence of direction a family member went out and purchased a six month “subscription” to Nomadik.
I am a little late to the entire subscription box idea. What started as a way for makeup aficionados to have new products delivered to their door for a nominal price relative to the retail price of the goods in the box has morphed into an entire industry. This industry caters to every possible niche imaginable. Nomadik is the subscription box that centers its offering around adventurers. The target market is the type of person who travels, reads Outside, considers a ski pass to be a good investment…oh shit, that sounds like me.
So, what is in the box:
The Parks Project “Park Watcher” beanie is a comfortable, if somewhat standard, knit beanie for those cold mornings:
The idea here, in my estimation, is that I am being exposed to the Parks Project brand. It’s interesting. Parks Project sells items—usually clothing—for which the proceeds will benefit projects within a particular national park or generically the national parks in general. Love Rocky Mountain National Park? Buy the t-shirt and support habitat restoration. Maybe in an era when Donald Trump is directing the federal budget such private support will become more critical than ever before.
Plus, the beanie is “Made in the U.S.A.” In these times of Trumpian bloviating and blustering it is good to find something that would meet with the approval of the Donald.
Nomadik included three Ritual Energy peanut butter and chocolate caffeinated energy snacks:
These little buggers claim to contain the same amount of caffeine as a single cup of coffee, which I have always found to be a problematic unit of measure given the differences in brewing coffee. My grandmother’s coffee probably had about a tenth the amount of caffeine as a regular cup of coffee because she used so few grounds and what was there was cut with chicory. My friend makes a pot of coffee with about a half pound of grounds, so I imagine these would not have the same impacts. As of right now, Ritual Energy only offers these little nuggets of caffeinated goodness in a single flavor. My intent is to pack these for my upcoming ski trip and use them on mountain. Risky? Sure, but so is strapping wooden sticks to your feet and sliding down a mountain covered in frozen water.
What person do you know that spends any times outdoors that cannot find a use for another carabiner:
The Mizu collapsible shot glass is kind of a throwaway for me:
I rarely drink anything that would come in a shot glass sized serving preferring drip coffee over shots of espresso and IPAs over shots of Fireball. It might however make a nice little re-gift option for my friends who do tend to favor the harder stuff.
Overall, a winner with the beanie, a couple of so-so items, and a throwaway in the shot glass. A bonus is that included in the box were coupon codes for the Parks Project and Ritual Energy, so if you were a fan you could feed your need for a little less money. I am interested to see what future boxes hold over the next five months, but I am not totally sold on the concept right now.
Posted in Household
Tagged carabiner, knives, Mizu, Niteize, Nomadik, outdoors, Parks Project, Ritual Energy, shot glass, ski, subscription box, tools, travel
This is not some screed where I quote from Ayn Rand’s Atlas Shrugged. For those of you who have not tortured yourself by actually attempting to read that magnum opus of conservative crap hole rhetoric, Colorado plays a major thematic role. Instead this is my thoughts about how Colorado seems to be moving toward a vision of what I think the United States will increasingly look like in the coming decades.
As I spent more than a week in the Centennial State I began to formulate some thoughts. Here goes:
In terms of politics, the state is polarized. Outside of Denver metroplex that stretches to the north to include the liberal paradise of Boulder, the state is relatively conservative. However, population trends and other demographic forces do not favor the continued strong influence of constituencies outside of the more progressive Denver metroplex. Sure, conservatives and libertarians will make a lot of noise—witness the recent tomfoolery about secession in the northern part of the state—but those voices will increasingly lack electoral heft save for the most gerrymandered of districts. Don’t believe me? Look at Representative Steve King of Iowa. He’s the Republican douche who prattled on about immigrants being drug mules and what not. Real class act. Earlier this month he held a “rally” in his district and this was the turnout:
Oh yeah. So, while hateful views and rhetoric like the sewage being spilled from Rep. King’s mouth may play well of Fox News—which has a demographic problem itself as it’s average viewer is easily old enough to receive full Social Security benefits—it is increasingly not something most people want to hear. Remember, Steve King is from a district in a state that gave then-candidate Barack Obama his push to the national stage with a stunning caucus win and twice voted for the man to become President. This is also a state that has allowed gay marriage since 2009 and has not imploded in some biblical event. This is what the future looks like for the right if increasingly exclusionary voices are the only ones to get heard.
The state’s left leaning politics, combined with a libertarian bent towards personal liberty, have already pushed forward one of the most progressive agenda items in the United States…the legalization of recreational marijuana for adults. Imagine that the U.S. police and prison industrial complex were no longer calling the shots in support of a broken system that enriches those exact entities at the expense of the greater nation. Imagine a cessation to the incessant drug war that has consumed U.S. society for the better part of forty years. I saw this future in Colorado where an adult can walk into a shop and buy weed as if it were no more prohibited than alcohol. Amazing.
Colorado’s prominence in the pantheon of craft beer is unquestionable and I am an unabashed fan of many of the breweries that call the state home. More so these breweries represent a more local and human scale future to the production of the foodstuffs that we consume. For anyone who does not believe that smaller scale producers can survive in a broader industrial context I would point you to the thriving craft beer industry in general and those breweries in Colorado in particular. Why do I believe that these examples of small scale success bode well for other endeavors into more localized and human scale production that is better for our bodies, souls, and planet? It is harder to think of an industry with more entrenched giants than beer—the formerly big three of Budweiser, Miller, and Coors—who over time erected a gauntlet of barriers to entry in an effort to create a moat around the market for beer in the United States. Guess what? The only segment of the beer industry that is growing is craft beer and it has a long way to go.
The state is also dealing with the nasty effects of climate change in real time. While the impacts of climate change might be theoretical for other states it is already rearing its ugly head in Colorado. Drive through any national forest in the state and you will see acre upon acre of dead timber that was killed by a beetle normally held in check by cold winters and healthy trees. The increasingly warmer winters and unreliable snow are forcing the vibrant ski tourism industry to evaluate a future where there might not be so many days where people are willing to shell out big bucks for lift tickets. If you think that this is just about the high Rockies you would be mistaken. In Colorado Springs the community has dealt with massive wildfires, exacerbated by unreliable rainfall, and the subsequent problems of flooding when rains finally soak denuded hillsides. Many communities along the Front Range were devastated last year when 1,000 year floods—whatever that means in a climate change reality—inundated communities at the base of the mountains.
There are other things that I saw when I was driving that made me think maybe, just maybe there is hope in our future if Colorado is the guide. It’s not a comprehensive network and it bypasses some communities, but the efforts to bring light rail across the Denver area are laudable. Soon, a light rail extension will finally link the airport—which is in bumblefuck relative to downtown—and the city of Denver. It’s still a place ruled by the car, but stand still long enough and you will likely be mowed down by someone riding a bike.
Get a chance to drive around and you will start to notice solar panels everywhere. If you start at the airport there are fields of them near the road leading to the parking structures. From there you will see solar panels on top of houses and on commercial buildings. Heck, right off I-25 in the heart of deep red El Paso County—where they renamed the freeway the Ronald Reagan Highway or some such shit—there is a big array. Solar gardens sell out in no time flat and you see installer trucks driving all over the place.
I am rambling a bit, but I wanted to get these thoughts out there soon after my return from Colorado. What do you think?
Posted in Politics
Tagged Ayn Rand, beer, bikes, climate change, Colorado, craft, Denver, drought, food, forests, future, gay marriage, industry, Iowa, legal, local, marijuana, micro, progressive, PV, ski, solar, Steve King, tourism